Predator Awareness

or Lover

This well written article, Are You Involved With A Psychopath, is worth taking a peek. The author, Michael G. Conner, Psy.D, appears to appreciate the mind of a psychopath and goes a step further in his article advising on some steps parents of “empathy-less” children should take in their difficult task of raising them.

What jumps out at me from this article, and in hindsight as a result of my own personal experience, is the “repetitive inappropriate course of conduct” psychopaths cannot help themselves correct. Once you understand how their mind works you have some predictability regarding future behavior. Usually in the idea that they will not behave in consideration of another’s feelings. You can predict they cannot respond predictably. This is crazy making unless…

Unless you can step outside your situation and view it from an emotionless vantage point. A course of conduct by the psychopath in your life is not married up with emotional attachment to consequences to others. They do not act in accordance to protecting the feelings of others. Zero appreciation of this concept is the hallmark of their existence. Harping on them to get this is fruitless.

What is difficult to grasp onto, yet is key to your involvement with them, is that they do not apply lessons learned from one negative outcome to another in the future. They will learn that given this particular stimuli plus these available choices the best course of conduct under this particular situation is such and such.

For example you can instruct them that if they strike another across the face that hurts the other so don’t do that. With an empathy wrapping we appreciate that striking a person anywhere on their body may hurt them. A psychopath will learn this only to the extent of across the face. They do not learn empathetic responses across broad landscapes. It is learned via a given circumstance warrants a given response.

When you are in a relationship you will assume others learn the broad empathetic restraint concepts, but psychopaths do not. Until they are confronted with very similar situations their behavioral responses are driven by their own personal desires. “Empathy-less” desire driven behaviors can result in some very cruel outcomes. Your opportunity to teach alternatives must be factually based lessons. Asking them if they feel bad about hurting another only is visible to them through the physical world.

Use the example of slapping another across the face. Psychopath hits, leaves a welt and then you can present them with the fact that their action (slapping) makes this outcome (welt) is wrong behavior. Psychopath learns not to slap based on this visual. Remember psychopath’s never have a moment of restrained hesitation prior to this slap episode in regards to how the “slapee” would feel as a consequence of their slap. Instead they will refrain from repeating the slapping behavior based on this past lesson. And believe me that is the extent of their learning via behavioral modification.

I can hear your psychopath child pleading their position after slugging another in the belly and telling you that “I didn’t slap them in the face” like you told me not to. Do not kid yourself into thinking the lesson taught about not slapping applies to belly slugging. In psychopaths mind their is no relationship. It is a completely different situation, and why you don’t get that is their question.

Keep in mind this whole concept works in the opposite direction also. So be very discretionary about what you instruct them not to do. Trust me I shot myself in the foot on this one a couple of times.